Pussy 101

Now, I know I natter on and on about tits so I thought it might be a good idea to concentrate on that other of The Supreme Beings greatest inventions: the Snatch. I know a lot of men prefer to keep their tried & true techniques to themselves, but I believe that getting this information out to the world is of the utmost importance because there is nothing better than a babe that has been licked into that near comatose, rag doll state that ensures you getting some fucking pancakes and eggs in the morning.

The secret? There ain't no fucking secret! You just gotta get down there and get face deep in it! Kiss those lips like you're never gonna see pussy again, but do not, I repeat, DO NOT use your fucking teeth! Lap her up and down, and drink deeply of her as though she were the fountain of life which, in a very real sense, she is.

Now, make your way upwards to the little man in the boat (if you don't know what I'm talking about, save everyone a lot of trouble and just go be Gay, we're working here). See him? Good. I want you to make little circles around him with your tongue. That's right, just keep that up for a while.

Since you got two free hands it's time to put 'em to work. Using your dominant hand I want you to insert your index finger into your sweetie, find the G-spot and make with the "c'mere gesture". Using your other hand grab the nearest tit and hang on for dear life cuz' she's gonna start bucking.

Now, it's time to turn up the heat. Switch from making circles with your tongue to spelling the alphabet. Don't question me, just fucking do it. You should have her going pretty good now but if you want to drive her into a sexual fugue state (be careful, though, this kind of shit can get you chained in the basement with no hope of ever meeting her bi friends) allow her to cum when you want. Take her up, bring her back, up, back, like a pot being kept on the edge of boiling. Be careful, though, too much of that shit and your chiropractor may have to put you in a neck brace (chicks can go She-Hulk on you if you stress 'em too long).

That pretty much takes care of it. If you have questions drop me a line.

There is one more secret but I'll wait a bit on that one. Ciao, babes.